Zip Car’s Days are Numbered

I love this concept. Everyone who’s ever seen this loves this concept:

Zip Car

Maybe it’s just the pessimist in me, but I predict Zip car won't last. There's a hole in the system that hasn't been discovered yet. Something someone hasn't quite figured out how to exploit yet. But it'll happen. The system is exploitable - it's just a matter of time before someone figures it out. Zip car has two powerful groups working against it as week speak: The Rental Car Companies & Criminals. They'll figure it out. And soon.

Or, Zip Car itself will be bought buy some evil empire who will figure out how to get greedy and crooked about it.

Zip Car is too good, but mostly it's based on something Americans don't do well - share.
Last fall, downtown, I saw a homeless person and a transient fighting over a community bicycle.

Zip Car's time is short in this world. Mark this prediction. I give it until Christmas for the fatal flaw to be discovered. Sorry.

Food Prices. Told Ya So!

So, today I read this editorial about food prices:

Grains Gone Wild

Here’s a snip:

The subsidized conversion of crops into fuel was supposed to promote energy independence and help limit global warming. But this promise was, as Time magazine bluntly put it, a “scam.”

This is especially true of corn ethanol: even on optimistic estimates, producing a gallon of ethanol from corn uses most of the energy the gallon contains. But it turns out that even seemingly “good” biofuel policies, like Brazil’s use of ethanol from sugar cane, accelerate the pace of climate change by promoting deforestation.

And meanwhile, land used to grow biofuel feedstock is land not available to grow food, so subsidies to biofuels are a major factor in the food crisis. You might put it this way: people are starving in Africa so that American politicians can court votes in farm states.

I hate to say I told you so, but I fucking told you so!

-JJ

Conservapedia - Another Brick in the Parallel Universe

Conservapedia - Another Brick in the Parallel Universe

A conservative’s answer to Wikipedia
Seeing a liberal bias on the popular online encyclopedia, a teacher launches Conservapedia -- to give a different angle on the facts, he says.

Not that I’m crazy about Wikipedia. As a source or reference I can take it or leave it.

I just find it fascinating that the Conservative plan to build a parallel universe is actually making good progress. That’s right, I said progress, not start. This isn’t the beginning of anything. I marked the beginning when they started complaining that school curriculum was left-biased. After that, they tried installing (successfully, in many ways) Conservative ideology into, and instead of, school curriculum. Then they complained that the teachers themselves leaned to the left, so they attacked colleges to have Conservative ideologues installed as teachers. Then they complained that med schools wouldn’t accept students from Christian Private Schools because they didn’t have a sound knowledge of evolution. (Imagine that.) Not to mention that they have their own “news” network.

Now they have their own “encyclopedia” filled chuck-full with their own facts. On the face of it, it’s funny. It’s the part that comes next that’ll get you really fired up. Next, they’ll want schools to give their “encyclopedia” legitimacy by permitting students to use it as a source of reference for their homework, projects and term papers. (Footnote 1, see Conservapedia) Imagine what the teachers will be faced with. If teacher gives little Johnny a “C” on his paper for referencing Conservapedia on his Global Warming research paper, will she get a visit from Johnny Daddy tomorrow?

Oh, how I hate to use the movie The Matrix as an analogy but I guess I’ll have to:
It’s like they’re building themselves a Matrix. Conservatives are completely content spending their lives plugged into a reality of their own invention. Meanwhile, the rest of us are saying, “Hey, Global Warming is real! Saddam Hussein wasn’t responsible for 911!”

I can’t imagine how far they’ll take it. Wait. Scratch that. I CAN imagine.

Imagine a doctor makes a mistake and kills someone. That doctor graduated from a highschool without having a sound science education, especially in biology because that’s all tied to evolutionary principles which were forbidden to be taught because the board of education was packed with rightwing ideologues. Next, that highschool graduate went off to college. Not a Christian college, mind you, a State University; you see, the state or federal legislature passed a law requiring State Universities to permit their applicants to forgo any curriculum that conflicted with their religious beliefs (and called it something ironic like “The Education Freedom Act”) and also forbids these universities from denying someone a degree because they don’t possess knowledge that comes from curriculum that conflicts with their religious beliefs. Now, the college graduate gets a job at St. Augustine (or whoever) Hospital because, obviously Christian Hospitals have embraced these new rules. Or maybe he DID get a job at a county hospital. After all, local governments can prevent hospitals from receiving tax dollars if they don’t meet certain conditions. So now Dr. Bubba finds himself sitting in a big hospital board room at one end of a big mahogany table lined with board members, lawyers, etc having to explain how it was, exactly, that he managed to kill a patient he was supposed to be caring for. But he’s not nervous, because the board room is packed with political appointees and graduates of Liberty University. The verdict? The patient died because of an “Act of God.” And don’t worry about the malpractice lawsuit. We’ve packed those courts too.

You’re doin’ one hell of a job, Dr. Bubba. Go back to work.

A Convenient CIA Smokescreen

My theory is a simple one. The Bush Administration instructed the CIA to release the files on past misdeeds in order to create a smokescreen for them to maneuver on Guantanamo Bay.

Already, “a scheduled high-level meeting Friday on the matter [Guantanamo] was canceled after AP reported on it...”. Basically, the Administration was going to meet about what they were going to do about their Guantanamo image problem and someone leaked it to the press so they had to cancel it.

Their problem is one of appearances. The administration knows that Guantanamo is a problem for them. They just don’t want us to know that THEY know it’s a problem for them. Their strategic problem is that they need to appear principled in closing the prison without necessarily admitting wrongdoing or, worse, reminding Americans what a travesty of justice it really is by creating a buzz about it in the media.

The solution? The CIA’s timely release of all these files detailing a history government misdeeds (but stopping before they get to the Reagan years, of course). Obviously, they’re hoping that, when the Guantanamo Bay press is juxtaposed with these CIA revelations, Guantanamo Bay won’t seem so bad.

Will it work? I doubt it, and here’s why. The CIA has only released files from the 60s and 70s, which begs the question, “What kinds of atrocities have been happening since then?” This question popped up early in the mainstream media and is repeated frequently, I’m sure, to the chagrin of the Bush Administration, because it inevitably leads to a new question: “What’s happening NOW?”

I think what the Administration was trying to say was, “See, we’re not so bad!” But what I think, and hope, the American people are going to hear is, “It’s always worse than you know.”

Redneck Roundup

Couple finishes restaurant meal while child tied in hot car
Funny how two little words can totally make a story funny: Cracker Barrel

Angry crowd kills passenger in car that struck child
Not funny this time but the boy that was struck by the car had “non-life-threatening injuries.” Somehow, I can’t help wondering of the passenger’s race had anything to do with him being beat to death. I’ll give you a hint. His last name was David Rivas Morales. The lynch mob is alive and well in Texas.

Email Forwarding Propaganda

You’ve all seen it. That forward that shows up in your inbox and makes you groan when you see the title and who sent it. Maybe it came from some distant crazy aunt that you only hear from when she sends you an obscenely-religious Easter card each year. Or, perhaps it’s from a coworker - you know the kind - she doesn’t read newspapers but always seems to have strong opinions about whoever was last voted off of American Idol.

I’ll never forget the self-righteous, condescending hate-filled forward that came out of Kansas after the recent tornado damage - some opportunist using the tragedy to launch an overt attack on those victimized by Hurricane Katrina and it’s aftermath - its tone obviously accusing the unfortunate folks of New Orleans of being a bunch of whiney-ass niggers, not possessing the fortitude to pull themselves up by their “bootstraps” like the suburban Kansas folk who were, in all reality, propped up by the likes of State Farm and American Family insurance; not to mention their savings accounts. Boot straps my ass. Next time circulate a petition before you spread such vile bullshit on behalf of all your grief-sticken neighbors, you brand-new-pickup-truck-driving fuckwit.

I grit my teeth and imagine thousands of flip-flop wearing yokels staring at their computer screens, nodding their heads furiously and hitting their “Forward” buttons as their Walmart-bought ice cream melts, forgotten, on their trailer kitchen counters. Dogs, tied to stakes outside, bark at their over-turned water dishes while nearby kiddie pools sit vacant, their tepid waters capturing overturned beetles and gum wrappers stirred airborne by passing Confederate-flag-flying pickup trucks. Country music blares from their neighbors’ windows, only half concealing the wails of children being beaten for various blasphemies.

Today, it was a not-so-masterfully-created lie about how Barack Hussein Obama is actually a Hawaiian-born Muslim extremist on a terrorist mission to infiltrate the US government and destroy us all once he’s elected President.

Nine times out of ten, it’s religious propaganda. Nothing says, “I love you Jesus”, like an email typed in all caps and forwarded from a Hotmail account.

Notice this garbage (poor grammar, misspellings, and all) always comes from the Right? You never see the Left inventing, and then forwarding stories about how, Mormon, Mitt Romney has four 13-year-old wives back in Utah that he likes to fuck with rolled up copies of the New York Post. (Actually, I’m quite sure some rightwing evangelical group is currently composing such a thing right now.)

The people who forward these have got to be the same people that buy shit from infomercials. And you know there are a lot of these people out there or there wouldn’t be infomercials.

Sure, it irritates me. But in the back of my mind I know it doesn’t matter. The people who are forwarding this shit are, intellectually, beyond reach.

What’s Wrong With Left Wing Radio?

Has pandering become our default position? Why the fuck can’t I turn on a leftwing radio station without hearing country music playing as introductions to segments or hearing the hosts going way out of their way to talk about their faith. Hell, lately they’ve gone so far as to speak admirably of traditional conservatism (as opposed to neo-con) and even say that they’d even vote for certain Republicans (like Ron Paul).

Lynn Samuels doesn’t even belong on the network! I’ve never heard someone so hostile to immigrants since Tom Tancredo. Not to mention her thinly-veiled racism toward African Americans and Jewish people.

Holy hell, no wonder they have such a hard time getting a mass audience. They’re practically tripping over themselves to avoid a “leftist” stereotype; a stereotype shoe that doesn’t even fit anyone outside the blogosphere anymore.

Do they really think they can’t make fun of the bible-thumping religious loonies on the Right without offending Democrats of faith? Come on! Get real! I do it all the time. I go way out of my way to offend religious people and I have fans who are Democrats of faith who aren’t only entertained, some have been willing to guest blog for me on occasion. With Democrats if the shoe doesn’t fit, they leave the thing on the floor.

I don’t listen to Rightwing radio (with the exception of occasions where someone said something so stupid or offensive that it was reported elsewhere) but I’m sure they’re not talking about drinking organic wine while joking about eating endangered species. I doubt they consider Green Burials as a serious option after shooting a liberal for treason. Do you think they play Sheryl Crow songs to introduce their segments denying Global Warming?

One notable exception is The Stephanie Miller Show which is truly a hoot. Her Right Wing World segment is more like it!

Stop Bitching. Long Election Season Favors Dems.

Everyone is complaining about how early the campaigning has started this time around. I have to tell you, I think this is nothing but a good thing for Democrats.

Before this election cycle, when was the last time you heard anyone talking about Democratic Values in the media? Hell, Conservatism has dominated the media for so long, and the center has moved so far to the right, that people were talking about universal health care like it was some kind of a crazy far-out loony-leftist idea but, on the other hand, the thought of pre-emptively NUKING another country somehow made it into the national conversation.

I hear people, who are otherwise Democrats or at least civilized (or both) in every manner, spout Republican buzz words and talking points without even blinking: “I heard Bush is raising fuel mileage standards.”, “I’d rather fight them over there...” - even the whacked out ones: “We aughtta to just nuke that whole country.” And this phenomenon happened so fast! I almost pissed myself on that day in 2001 when a close friend said, “I got my tax relief check in the mail!” Ahh! She even bought the premise! (Of course, we’ve all been paying the same amount of taxes, or more, ever since because we’re not in Bush’s favored tax bracket.)

I read an editorial the other day about how the difference between Democrats and Republicans has been illustrated ever-so-clearly by what they choose to talk about in their Primary Debates. I’ve been dwelling on it ever since and I don’t think it’s possible to exaggerate the importance of that point.

Personally, I watch the Republicans and think everything they say and do is mean spirited to someone. The Right is driven, mainly, by what pisses them off. Republicans are the kings of writing legislation to satisfy their pet peeves regardless of whether it’s their business or has any actual real-world value: English-only, flag burning, gays, sex, homeless people, prairie dogs. Nothing makes the Right happier than having their personal meanness supported by the government. Sadly, it’s the same crap that the media seems to latch onto.

How long did we hear that Democrats, “have no good ideas”, or, “aren’t for anything” (even though it wasn’t true, we still heard it). I think people have forgotten what our country’s values are, let alone Democrats’. Seriously.

What this country really needs - what the Democrats really need - is precisely what we’re getting; a nice long time for the country to compare value systems. Face it. Karl Rove has taught us all that the LESS people think about things, and the more bumperstickerized issues become, the better Republicans do. Conversely, the long, reasoned, conversation always favors Democrats.

I know what you’re thinking... (Move away from the comment button.) “But will the media allow us to have a reasoned conversation?” (Believe me, I know what you mean. The recent trend toward raise-your-hand debate questions has got my boxers bunched up more than they have been in quite some time.) I think the media will have to allow the conversation. There’s just too much time not to. Hell, I’ve already heard Chris Matthews whip out the, “Who would you like to have a beer with?”, and, “Who would stop and help you change a tire?” questions. Once he uses up his arsenal of shallow bullshit questions, he’s going to have to dig deeper. The year-and-a-half long campaign will, also likely, overwhelm the tendency to bumperstickerize issues. Candidates will have to explain what the fuck they mean or end up sounding like George Bush saying, “We gotta fight ‘em there so we don’t have to fight ‘em here”, for the one hundred thousandth fucking time.

This entire situation plays to the strengths of the Democrats (reason) and will create an awareness of the spirit from which Democrats draw their values contrasted against the mean-spiritedness of Republicans. It will also hinder the Republicans’ habit of using bumper-sticker-sized psudo-logic to fool people into voting against their own best interests. Given the choice of allowing people a longer or shorter time to compare parties, Democrats choose “longer” every time.

You know, it made me a little giddy the other day when Hillary hammered Wolf for his hypothetical raise-your-hand bullshit question on Darfur. That’s exactly how the Democrats are going to need to behave in this situation and it helps point out something out we need to remember: It’s not good enough that the long campaign season is better for Democrats; our candidates have to know it, too, so they can use it to their advantage.